You are hearing from one content, thankful mama. Though I wouldn’t call it smooth sailing, my recovery is going quite well. Yesterday and today were the first “normal” days with our school routine, and I’m encouraged so far by how well Little One is doing with having his baby brother around, also recieving my attention. He has been his usual upbeat, sweet self.
Then there’s Baby, who is equally sweet. I adore when he’s awake and his beautiful blue eyes search mine and he intently listens to my voice. We’ve pretty much gotten the hang of this nursing thing, and at his weight check yesterday he was one ounce higher than his birth weight (after having dropped down to 9 pounds, 3 ounces at discharge).
As far as rest goes, we’re doing ok. There’s no doubt that I’m exhausted, but when you have four children you can’t rest when the baby does, like “they” say to. Those are the moments when you have to get things done! Sure, some things can wait (and believe me, they are), but there are basic day-to-day things you just have to make time for. I’m trying to pace myself and do them at an easy pace, but apparently today I still was a bit too ambitious and ended up taking quite a spill. I’m thankful that all I was carring was my son’s ketchupy plate and not Baby. My bruised knee will serve as a good reminder that I’m only one week in here and need to ease up!
I’ll admit that in the middle of the night when Baby’s been changed and fed and has fallen back to sleep, I don’t put him down right away. In those quiet hours, I can’t help but just look at him and get lost in my thankful thoughts. I could just stroke those soft hairs on his little head for hours. I know that this baby gets held more than he probably should (between all those doting siblings and me), but I can’t pretend to be concerned. My main objective is to cherish these moments, because they are fast-fleeting.
Right now Baby is asleep in his bouncy seat, which is where he spends much of the rest of his time. I rarely lay him down in his crib during the day because our upper level is so cold and I don’t normally have a reason for being up there when I’m not sleeping. I imagine that when his sleep cycle begins to regulate and nap times are more regular I will utilize his crib for day time naps–but for now I prefer to have him wherever I am, and the bouncy seat is so handy for that.
Life doesn’t slow down just because you’ve had such a major event happen in your family. I can’t believe how much has been going on. I mean, he was born a week ago Sunday and the very next night my husband had a band concert to direct. The day after that he started coaching basketball. Sure, then he had a few days off for Thanksgiving vacation, but life still seemed quite busy. There are always errands, chores, and his school work to attend to. On top of that, he also has to prep for choir rehearsals and basketball practices. I stubbornly refuse to let commitments hinder me from soaking up these moments. I look at our daughter, who just turned 9 on Friday, and whistfully marvel at where the years go. I love the girl she’s becoming, but there are certainly matters of perspective (of my own) I would change from years back if I could. For me, nothing competes with being Mom. These four precious little ones love me (how blessed I am, yet how undeserving), need so much from me, and look to me as a main teacher in their lives. What an important responsibility!
So, I’m determined to see each day as a gift to give back to my family. I realize that I must temper that now while I’m recovering (in addition to falling today, I’ve had other reminders over the past week of how it doesn’t serve me well to not take proper care of myself in light of all my body has been through), but I really need to fight the urges to think “woe is me” when everything’s hurting, as well as the temptation to become overwhelmed by the busy-ness of my crew of four. I’d much rather be joyful about all that they bring to my table and try to find positive ways to manage it. They truly can be good helpers, but it’s my responsibility to help nurture that in them.
Speaking of my good helpers, they’ll all be getting home from school soon. I was able to get a good 45 minutes of sleep this afternoon, plus another half hour or so to just lie down. The evening ahead will pick up quite a bit since I have our church mother’s group and don’t have all my supplies together. It will require a trip to the grocery store, but I can do that quickly while my husband and the kids eat (a dear church friend is dropping off supper for them). I’m not sure that I’ll stay for the whole meeting. I’ll see how I’m feeling since so far I’ve gotten quite tired by evening time and have had the most pains to go along with it. Hopefully I can do our devotion (which is toward the beginning anyway), and can always duck out after that.
Time to set down the computer and do a few things so that I’m prepared to pick up my sweet little baby when he needs me. 🙂