In about half an hour my baby will officially be 3 weeks old. With this marker looming, I must also acknowledge the end of our honeymoon phase. He’s still a very sweet baby, but in the past couple days I’ve seen indications of him becoming spoiled by my wanting to hold and snuggle him so much. This is a very bittersweet realization–on the one hand, I’m feeling compelled to get more done and finding that it’s stressful for me to try to meet even basic deadlines when I can’t set him down without him getting fussy. On the other hand, he gets bigger every day and it is SO sweet to hold this tiny person that I am blessed to call my son, my youngest child.
At the same time, I remind myself not to get overly ambitious–my body still is healing–and that this needy baby just might be God’s way of “helping” me take it easier.
Tonight we dealt with quite a fit, which got a bit scary. I had not seen him like that before. In the end, it seemed like he just hadn’t had his fill at his previous feeding, and once I let him have a bit more he fell into a deep sleep and is still fast asleep in his crib. I don’t usually nurse him to sleep at his first sleep of the night, but sometimes you do what you have to. I’m just relieved he stopped crying.
I think it’s a good time to start establishing a more regular routine. I realize that newborns still need to feed on demand and can’t be overly scheduled, but I learned with a daycare baby that some children feel safest and happiest on a very tight schedule. Perhaps Baby is just trying to tell me that this is the case for him, and I won’t know for sure until we try.
At any rate, the dryer just buzzed so I want to run down and put things away before they get all wrinkly, and then I’ll try to get some sleep before he wakes up for his next feed. My prayer for this night is for an alert mind when I am called upon throughout the night so that I can be attuned to Baby and make wise choices about how to respond. I despise the nights where I am so out of it that I’m not even quite sure the next day what all went on! And, please watch over Baby, Lord. Send him a night of restorative sleep, please.