Writing is a major way of reflecting, for me. I feel that I best process and learn from “life” this way.
It’s amazing to think back a year ago. I was teaching, living the “mad-dash” life. Scramble to get the kids to school. Scramble to get as much done as possible while Little One is at preschool (two mornings a week). Scramble to get him and PRAY that they’re not let out late as there’s very little leeway before you have to be at school to teach. Or, the one insane day each week when we all had to be ready for the day by 7:30 at the very latest so that I was on time for my full-day…
Then, pick up the kids from their different locations and scramble home for homework, supper, laundry, baths, and bedtime…
I remember looking outside my office window at school and getting teary-eyed more than once when a mother walked by pushing her stroller. While I was thankful that I had full days at home with my little guy, I knew in my heart that I wasn’t where I “should” permanently be. I knew I had to go “back” home, and that I hoped for another little one to join us there.
But, it just wasn’t happening.
Right about this time last year, we were in the process of really, truly, going forward with our kitchen project. We had almost gone ahead with it the previous spring, but had to put it aside. Last January, we were making decisions and looking at each other going, “We’re REALLY doing this, aren’t we?”
Now that it’s almost February, I can also think about Baby. Last February rolled around and I thought that my need to run to the school rest room two or three times PER class period was from my increased commitment to hydration!!! How blessed we are to have this sweet little baby here with us. He is such a joy.
Last night when I got home from playing for church, he couldn’t have opened his mouth wider to smile at me. He couldn’t stop smiling at me. HOW BLESSED I AM.
I truly am thankful for having taught last year. My students and the school found a special place in my heart, and I think of them often. The income I brought in paid for our kitchen renovations (OK–for the cabinets and installation, anyway). And, though money can feel tight at times now without that income, I wouldn’t trade my time here in our home for any money! A sister-in-law’s perspective recently reminded me how fast the time goes and it got me thinking how important it is to make the most of it. I don’t want to sit here dwelling about fussy baby days and lack of productivity. I’d rather be thankful for a day my baby needed snuggling from me, since all too soon he’ll be waaaaay to busy for my lap, or way too heavy to put up on my shoulder.
A year ago, we hadn’t even started talking about refinishing our floors, and the thought of having a new vehicle was certainly not in the plans! I can’t say that the thought of having our bedrooms situated the way they are is such a surprise, because if you know me, you know that I can’t figure out how best to arrange our home and am constantly changing the configuration. We’re not talking knocking out walls, here! (Well, that’s not completely true–I’m still itching to knock the back part of the boys’ bedroom closet open to the living room and changing it into a front entry closet…)
My 4-year-old (who’ll only be 4 for another month and a half) is off to preschool soon, so I had better see how he’s doing with his lunch and spend these last few minutes WITH him before he’s off for a few hours. Sometimes you have to quit reflecting on the past and live in the moment! 🙂