I feel surprisingly refreshed this morning.  Baby slept past 4:00!  He hasn’t done a stretch that long in months!  I really needed it.  I don’t get to nap much and the interrupted nights do a number on me.  I’ve been feeling pretty tired out.  What a pleasant surprise that was!  I’ll admit that I woke up before he did, and when I saw the time–boy, was I confused!  I immediately panicked and was thrilled to hear Baby start to cry soon after (he had fallen asleep in his car seat  because he was pretty congested again last night).

Poor little guy–I guess it’s the plight of having older siblings off at school, all bringing home their individual germs.  I’ve never had a baby with so many colds–or allergies?  He hasn’t even had his 4-month shots yet because you’re supposed to wait 4-6 weeks after having had a virus, and every time he gets better and I’m about to call and schedule, there’s another bad, stuffy nose!  It’ll just have to wait.  There’s no way that I’m giving him immunizations when his immune system is already being tested.  I’m not one who believes that immunizations cause autism, but I do believe that there is enough evidence to show that harm/injury can result when one’s immune system is already compromised.  I’m glad that pediatricians are recommending this now!

On a happier note, the weather has just been gorgeous for the past week.  I am loving taking my little boys out for walks during the day, and sending the kids out to ride bikes, swing, or play catch with me.  I can’t wait to go shopping for our Father’s Day gift–a basketball hoop!  That’ll be so fun for our family to have.

It’s been really good having our skype therapy sessions with our son’s therapist from “Horizons: Autism Transformation Center”.  She’s been working with us on our reactions to his negative behavior (ignore, not engage, pace slowly, encourage deep thinking and keep “talk” minimal during stress).  We’ve been skyping every couple weeks, and while it’s another thing to add to the very busy schedule (especially since it requires arranging for a sitter), it’s been a VERY beneficial item to add to the calendar.  I feel so much better knowing that we have an expert we can keep in touch with about the tricky issues that arise, as well as the knowledge imparted on us about how best to help our eldest son with his special considerations.  It was never directly stated to us, but we have both come to realize that the goal is not to change our son, but to equip us so that we know how best to work with him.  We see now that the Great Engineer wired him in such a way that it cannot be undone or unentangled by our earthly means.  It is simply our job to know how to help him cope, and how to cope, ourselves.

I try to focus on the love.  Love encompasses so much–patience, gentleness, grace…beautiful qualities that don’t flow as easily in the trying moments as they do in the idyllic.  And, life often isn’t idyllic.  As I watched my lanky boy walk down our street yesterday morning to school, the green budding trees overhead were filled with singing birds, and brilliant sunshine floated through, illuminating him and the quiet street below.  It was an idyllic moment, and I ate it up!  You treasure the ones you get, and they sustain you through those “other” ones.  So, I watched him go, praying over his day and giving praise to our great creator for making my son and sharing him with me.

Similarly, I’m just plain treasuring these times here with our 5-year-old son, adoring the cute, sweet, big-boy things he says to me.  He’ll be gone to kindergarten next year, and I will miss him.  I will be glad to have him home in the afternoons.

Our daughter will be playing a piano duet with me before the Ascension service on Thursday.  She picked up on it so quickly.  She’s so diligent and conscientious!

And then there’s Baby, who is growing so fast.  His smile lights up our family.  His sweetness mellows me out in the midst of the chaos that can exist around us.  Though I’m still finding my groove as a mom of four, I look at my little baby’s face and am certain that having him, wanting him, was no mistake.  Yes, I’m busy.  Yes, I mess up as a mother.  But, yes–I am blessed–so VERY blessed, in my children.  I look to God’s example and am moved to try my very best as a loving “thank you” to Him for all my blessings.  And, speaking of my blessings, I had better get off this computer and go attend to them.  🙂

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