adventures in food creations

My gluten-free kid has been missing pop-tarts.  His siblings eat them occasionally (at least their organic, whole grain version), so he’s had that reminder of what used to be.

Until today.

I put aside my massive list of excuses and just did it.  I found a recipe a few days ago and didn’t have nearly enough gluten-free flour, so I cut the recipe waaaaay down and made what I could.  The dough was sticky and I had to keep chilling it, and it was tricky for me to work with, but I successfully made four brown sugar cinnamon gluten-free pop tarts and he LOVED them.  That made it all worth it!  (He didn’t eat them all).

It only took me about 3 hours, start to finish, what with the chilling and other interruptions.  It was supposed to take 25 minutes, but I wasn’t surprised that it took more.  I had a few other things going at the same time.

Recently I received some encouragement to keep on keeping on with this whole food thing, and I appreciate it.  I dream of SO MUCH MORE for my family where it comes to meal time/health/food attitudes, and I just know that day’s going to come.  It won’t just happen, though–I know I have to keep working for it.  I hadn’t given up, by any means, but it matters so much to me and it’s just nice to know that other people care and want to see this goal achieved.

It also reminded me of how important this is (not that I forgot).  A major flood of emotions rushed over me.  It reaffirmed what a touchy subject this can be, and how it’s best (in my opinion) to be transparent about it instead of run and hide.  I know that my methodology really rubs some people the wrong way, but I’m doing my best with the advice of our counselors (namely our son’s physicians and therapist).

Do I have my moments when I just want to shove the veggies down their throats?  Or when I want to growl that they can’t leave the table until their plates are clean?  Probably at least once a week!  So, why don’t I resort to that?????????????????…

I told my son this morning that if I was going to make the pop-tarts, he needed to help me.  Well, having him “help” reminded me of something else: to a child with major sensory issues, food is sensory overload.  It can look weird, it can feel weird, it can smell weird, and it can taste weird.  Maybe sometimes it even sounds weird.

I watched him quickly spiral into nasty stress over something that he WANTED, and I remembered the scope of the situation I’m in.  It’s vast, it’s complicated, and it’s easy to pooh-pooh that and just chalk it up to pushover parenting.

I’m not saying that I’ve never messed up with this whole food journey or second-guessed what it teaches my kids that they don’t HAVE to eat all their vegetables even though they know I want them to.  I think about that every day.

But, it’s all part of my journey, and what consoles me is knowing that it’s all turned over to the Lord, and He will bless it.  He’s got the control.  He will guide me and work good.  And that’s the amazing note I’ll end this on.  🙂

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