finding beauty in change

On my way to church (kid-free) for an organ practice session this morning, I experienced one of those idyllic feels-like-time-froze moments.  The trees on that street practically formed a roof overhead with their beautifully changing leaves, and the sun radiantly shone through.  It was gorgeous!

As my mind began to wander, I thought about what autumn means to me.  I don’t generally get warm and fuzzy thoughts about pulling out sweaters and jeans.  I’m a summer girl.  Gimme heat, a swim suit, and a pool!  Still, when the leaves change colors, it reminds me that changes are a regular part of life.  Change can be such an uncomfortable thing for us creatures of habit…yet change brings growth and can be such a good–if not beautiful–thing.

It’s hard to recognize that last truth in the middle of a particularly difficult season of life.  I’ll admit having some nerves about this school year what with my husband’s change in duties (from teacher to teacher/principal).  I certainly get bent-out-of-shape any time my plans change (for example: I play organ on Sunday, so let’s plan ahead and not leave it all for the last minute.  Oh wait–instead, how about spending the weekend at the hospital with our 5-year-old)!

Such instances happen over and over in a person’s life.  In regard to this past weekend when JJ was in the hospital, I look back and am thankful that the Lord filled me with quite a bit of peace and trust throughout the process.  That’s not to pretend that there weren’t moments of fleeting panic or questioning, but overall I felt sure that he was where we needed to be and that everything was somehow going to be fine.  It wasn’t the weekend I had planned for us, but he got the care he needed and his eye seems to be doing much better already.  He was back to school and I got to chaperone his field trip yesterday morning, which was a very fun outing on a gorgeous fall day.

Why IS change so often so uncomfortable?  I guess that this ultimately stems back to our sinful nature–our insecurities and doubts.  How we fail to trust in God and His provisions!  We can’t perfectly trust God, no matter how desperately we may wish to.  Even so, all these failings serve to turn my eyes to God.  I can EXPECT changes to come–just as I can count on the leaves to change colors every fall.  I can be assured that, since I am human, some of those changes will be challenging for me.  Yet, through it all, I can trust God’s promises NOT to change!  They are the only things that never will.  Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross will always be enough for me to have the hope of heaven!

As I walk through life, I sometimes have these moments where I’ll tell myself, “If things could just be [this way], then [life would be so much better].”  Or, “When [this] happens/changes, [life will improve greatly].”  In that beautiful moment this morning, I realized that I should instead be looking towards heaven for that.  I’m not giving up all hope on positive change for my earthly life, but just as things can change for the better, they surely will also change for the worse.  But in regard to heaven–THEN and THERE will [that] moment come, when everything is truly as it should be.  Discontent, discomfort, and disarray will float away, as God’s glory surrounds us, filling us with joy so abounding that we can only imagine it!

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